Crown of Glory

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all?“

This popular quote, from the Brothers Grimm, has misguided generations for generations. Yet with unspoken motives, we continue to gaze into the mirror’s face and secretly hope it whispers, “you.”

Over the course of a several years, I have meditated earnestly over beauty. Is it only in the eye of the beholder? What is the standard of measure? Where do we look for validation, assurance, confirmation? Where are we drawn in order to understand beauty’s place in our homes? Why is external admiration so desired? The overwhelming question I arrived at, and by far the most important question of all, what is beauty according to God?

God’s Standard

This is a difficult question to answer because we do not have the mind of God. Thankfully, God did not leave us to our own devices. He gave us His inspired Word to ascertain the directives for Godly living. When seeking Scripture on the topic of feminine beauty, make note of the qualities God says are beautiful:

• “But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4
• “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” Titus 2:2-3
• “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
• “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1
• Trustworthy, good works, diligent, acquires, rises early, prepares, owns business, vinedresser, profitable, exercises, seamstress, helper of the poor, hospitable, gives forethought, creates, hope-filled, kind, industrious, honorable, most noble, fears the Lord, commendations – Proverbs 31:10-31

These are the qualities we should be seeking. These are the qualities which we should desire. And these are the qualities the women of God ought to be exhibiting.

True beauty always resonates from within. Even the most plain woman can glow because of the inward grace bestowed by our God. A woman who fears the Lord, walking in His commands, is stunning because she is obedient and is marked by holiness. In contrast, compare the proverb, “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” This clearly says that no matter what a beautiful woman adorns herself with, she will only ever be as a pig with a nose piercing. An outward-only beautiful woman never harnesses good judgment. 

Grey Minded

Proverbs 20:29 states, “The glory of young men is their strength, And the honor of old men is their gray hair.” This buttresses the text in Proverbs 16:31 where we read, “A grey head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.” Grey hair should be desired, honored and praised. We should not blanket what God has given by exchanging wisdom for the appearance of youth. When a woman has dedicated her life to live in the ways of the Lord, grey hair should then be the crown of a life of holiness. It is the reward for abiding and obedience.

In our beauty driven society, naturally grown grey hair is looked down upon and in many cases-despised. This is seen in the numbers reported in the sales industry. In 2021 alone, the salon industry raked in 42 million dollars. The beauty industry exploited 82 million dollars. We are buying the lies. “BeYOUtiful” “The best wrinkle is the one you never get.” “You are worth it!” Nothing enhances beauty like the Gospel, so we ought be careful not to contribute to world’s narrative.

Personal Grey Truth

If you haven’t had the blessing of a daughter who constantly reminds you that grey is a crown of glory, pray for one. My daughter has given me a healthy dose of grace whilst simultaneously calling me to remember Proverbs 16:31. Scripture is the only place we should look when our aging indicators try to hold us hostage to the fleeing nature of youth. “Grey is found in the way of righteousness,” I repeat as I look into the lying mirror.

Aging is not an option. It is reality. 

And I write this article with steadily growing confidence. For a little over three years, I colored my scanty grey hair. One day, I was engaged in a conversation with a good friend and she said, “If coloring your hair makes you feel better about yourself, do it.” This statement bristled me so much that it ended up being my watershed moment. It registered with my abhorrence to existentialism, which meant I knew the hair coloring would be stopping soon.

But in all sincerity, I didn’t want to come to terms with the truth. It was a notion, not a conviction. I took the next twelve months seeking Scripture, praying and trying to fight my desires. What impressed me was God’s lovingkindness to put other women into my life to share His desire. Some of these women were, unbeknownst to me, on the same journey, while others had already experienced victory in submitting their wills to our Father. Funny enough, the few women who championed against my emerging conviction helped me solidify why coloring over my grey was sinful. “But Thou, O Lord, art a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth” Psalm 86:15. He dealt compassionately with me while I vacillated, yet it was concreted in His perfect timing.

Some Confidently March

I understand this is not an issue for all women, each of us comprised with our own besetting sin. However, to those who have won the battle, I thank you. For those who chose never to engage, I commend you. One of the most beautiful women I know, humbly and beautifully displays her long, greying hair with unspoken fulfillment and grace. I often look at it, which ignites confidence. Her spirit and obedience are contagious. I want what she exhibits because I know God loves righteousness (see Proverbs 16:31 again, Psalm 33:5, Jeremiah 9:24). Her example was my aspiration. It was her grey modeling and my new stance which inspired us to coin, “The Grey Club.” We are accepting memberships now. Let’s start circling the wagons.

Crowns of Grey

A crown of grey is found in the way of righteousness. Delight yourself in being faithful and grateful for what you’ve been granted. Wear your crown confidently. Embrace its formation. Because, from experience, there are women looking for examples of obedience.

What is the mirror telling you? What is your motive for caring what it says? Signs of aging are marks of condemnation to many, but let them be marks of holiness in Christians.